How to Deal with Rejection | What to do after you Deal with it
Practical steps on dealing with rejection
While time heals your wounds, here are some practical tips on how to deal with rejection, ease pain and make your recovery period significantly shorter.
- Tell yourself it will go because it really will. Keep reminding yourself that this is only temporary and you may be even thankful for this experience in the future.
- Engage in physical activities. Play tennis, take a class at a local gym. Physical activity forces us to concentrate outside of ourselves and live in the moment. This is the reason why we feel so alive when we are active, and this is the reason why exercise can be actually addictive. Unlike other addictions, this one is usually positive and beneficial for you.
- Focus outside yourself. Although it might be hard to do right now, avoid blaming and criticizing yourself. Be your own friend. If you catch yourself analyzing your past or yourself, gently draw attention away to something external.
- Learn something new. Learning a new skill can be challenging; in addition to obvious benefits, it helps us heal by keeping us busy and focused. To make things even better, learning a new skill may help discover new opportunities or meet new people.
- Travel. New places are always fun to explore and, just like suggestions above, new places will distract our attention from negative thoughts and add excitement to your life. In Swahili for the Broken-hearted Peter Moore travels all the way from Cairo to Cape Town to get over his breakup, which resulted in an epic adventure and… a book!
- Meet new people. This goes without saying. When you meet someone new, you want to put your best foot forward, and this will force you to pick yourself up. In addition, new people have new exciting stories to tell which helps you stay distracted.
- Use self-hypnosis. Hypnosis helps you access unconscious mind and shape it in ways you never dreamed was possible. If you are suffering from one-sided love, download Unrequited Love to help yourself think less of that person and start to feel interested in other activities. If you are in a committed relationship and suffer from being rejected by your spouse, download Mend Your Broken Heart. If you also suffer from insecurity, you might want to try this.
- Consider online counseling. We all know professional counseling works, but having to book an appointment and then actually go to the clinic may seem overwhelming. You might be not in a good shape, and you might fear that by going there, you’ll embarrass yourself in front of strangers. Online counseling offers all benefits of traditional counseling without anxiety associated with going to see your therapist. This online counseling site can match you with one of 2000 licensed therapists in a matter of minutes, and if you don’t like your counselor, simply request another one.
Positive things to do when you are Rejected
1. They Recognize Their Role
Rejection can be brutal, and it's often enough to inspire us to begin playing the blame game. It's their fault that they didn't see the value we were offering or that they decided to go another direction.
When we're hurt, it's pretty much human nature to make ourselves the victims of the situation. However, successful people understand the importance of recognizing the role they played in their own rejection.
Were they as prepared as they should have been? Did they settle for mediocre when they should have put their all in? You need to accept responsibility for anything you did that might have contributed to your being passed over, or you simply won't learn as much from the situation.
2. They Reflect
Similarly to the point above, successful people don't immediately jump into action after being rejected. Instead, they press pause and take a little bit of time to look back on the experience.
Are they blindsided by this rejection, or did they not feel great about their chances to begin with? If they could rewind time, what key things would they do differently?
Before you can use rejection to help you improve, you first need to pinpoint exactly where you could make some changes.
3. They Ask Questions
When you're turned down for something, your first inclination might be to bury your head in the sand and get as far away from that humiliating situation as possible.
However, successful people resist the temptation to run and hide. They know that it's better to use this as an opportunity to gather more information that will help them to become better in the future.
Swallow your pride and directly ask what you did well and what you could do better next time. That's all valuable information -- directly from a reputable source -- that you can use to improve moving forward.
4. They Improve
Far too many of us fall into the trap of collecting feedback, but then never actually doing anything with it. But, not successful people. They go the extra mile to actually implement the suggestions they receive.
You know you can't continue to do the same things and make the same mistakes while expecting different results. So, remember to detail an action plan you can use to put those tips for improvement to use. You'll be better off for it.
5. They Move On
Rejection can bruise even the healthiest of egos. But, it won't do you any good to obsess over it -- which is why successful people know it's better to take a deep breath, let it go, and move on.
Yes, you'll need to take a little bit of time to reflect on the experience and pull out the necessary lessons and value. However, once you've done that, don't continue to dwell or hold a grudge. Ultimately, that will only hold you back.
There's no denying that rejection can be a painful experience, but it can also be extremely educational -- as long as you're willing to make the most of it. Take these five strategies, and you're sure to use rejection to your advantage.
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